Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Question
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the positive economic effects and the negative social effects of advertisements. However, the arguments are not well-developed and lack depth. The language is often unclear, and there are numerous grammatical and lexical errors that impede understanding.
The essay discusses both views as required by the prompt, but the points are not well-supported with clear examples or explanations. The writer's opinion is mentioned, but it is not clearly integrated with the rest of the essay. More detailed analysis and evidence are needed to strengthen the arguments.
The essay lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas. There are instances of unclear sentence structures and abrupt transitions that disrupt the flow of the essay. Cohesive devices are used, but not always effectively.
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent errors in word choice and usage. This affects the clarity and precision of the arguments. There is a need for a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors often obscure meaning and reduce the overall readability of the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Introduction
Advertisement are becoming more popular right now, beside of the population,it is due to some positive or negative effect .some people are not actually satisfied with those adverts, some find it funny to watch or create their benefits
The introduction attempts to introduce the topic, but it lacks clarity and precision. There are grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The thesis statement is not clearly defined.
Body paragraph 1
In one hand, advertisement will have many benefit for promoting the product, it is more nessesary to people to find the product that they need. The biggest benefit of advertising is for companies to promote the product,make more money although the advertisement cost a large amount of money. On the site of people, advertise can make it easier to choose a product, it promote the advantage of the product, with a reasonable price, and it has been confirmed by many people and viewer, buyer can make an optimal decision easier. For instance, so many reviewer post a videos to promote their experience on youtube, the videos that have the highest views and the most liked will take on the first place of the search, people will find it easier because they already have someone to use the product first and share the experience to them.
The paragraph discusses the economic benefits of advertisements, but the points are not well-developed. There are numerous grammatical errors and unclear expressions. The example provided is not clearly linked to the argument.
Body paragraph 2
In the other hand, the negative impact it depend on the time that the advert show up. For example, people are watching fil and the advert just randomly come out, it take like thirdty of twenty second to skip, for me it a little bit to long for advertisement. Advertisement is not thats worse but is need the right time to come out. If is just come out normally on the start or the end of the film or video, it is not anoy at all but it come out like a jumpscare in the middle of the film and stop the mood of the film
The paragraph touches on the negative aspects of advertisements, focusing on their timing. However, the argument is not fully developed, and the examples are not well-explained. The paragraph contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity.
Conclusion
In my opinion advertisement it not bad, but is only worth it when people need it. If it just come out in the middle of the film, that make the advert can not promote the product because people do not actually watch it if they are watching film. When people need something, they will consistently find it, they do not actually need the advertisement as much, people can find the product simply with the benefit of the advert
The conclusion restates the writer's opinion but lacks a clear summary of the main arguments. It introduces new ideas that were not discussed in the body paragraphs. The language is unclear, with grammatical errors that affect the overall coherence.
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