Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Question
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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4
Overall Band
5
Task Response
4
Coherence
4
Lexical
4
Grammar
The essay addresses the task but lacks clarity and coherence. There are numerous grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and incomplete sentences. The essay requires significant improvement in organization, coherence, and language accuracy to meet a higher band score.
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument but lacks clarity and depth in exploring the ideas. The opinion is stated but not well-developed. To improve, the writer should provide clearer examples and more detailed explanations of each viewpoint.
The essay lacks clear organization. Paragraphs are not well-structured, and ideas are not logically connected, making it difficult to follow the argument. The use of linking words is inconsistent and often incorrect. Improved structuring and clearer transitions between ideas are needed.
The essay shows limited vocabulary range and frequent spelling errors, which obscure meaning. There are attempts to use some relevant vocabulary, but inaccuracies are common. The writer should focus on improving spelling and using a wider range of precise vocabulary.
The essay contains numerous grammar errors, including incorrect verb forms, sentence fragments, and punctuation mistakes. These errors significantly hinder communication. It is essential to work on basic sentence structures and grammatical accuracy for improvement.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Introduction
advertisements have been recoginse in around world some people think That advertisments to have postitive economic effects but some peoples Still think there are negatie soudu effets because in do'viduous are not sati skied with whe They are and what they have I will give Discuss and give my may own opinion about both views.
The introduction attempts to outline the topic but is marred by numerous spelling and grammatical errors. It lacks a clear thesis statement. The writer should aim for a clearer and more accurate introduction that succinctly presents the main idea.
Body paragraph 1
Yes advertisements have positive economic effects. First, ad vertisemers inr. In traduce in troduce their produces To The peoples make them wout To have Them That include large of a maint of money will came to The com pony Thar also they have to pay more takes for goverment motke That boost economic on Seto seccondly, This effects also gain some w reward for the peoples, some advertisements are said about hunger, homeless child, To ask donation from a peoples crowd The world, HR
The paragraph attempts to discuss the positive economic effects of advertisements but is confusing due to poor sentence structure and many errors. The examples provided are unclear and require elaboration. This section needs better organization and clarity.
Body paragraph 2
However, some peoples Think there are negative social effects. First, Fake produck or expering product this make peoples make um pappy due to the adver ismers said that it will help you you on To Kill your deads Kin,... Secondly, gamble, aduts content are makong parents when They let their kid Using Their Techology, For ear dexomple, Pop up That many peoples have saw it bexore, The content That They give Just gamble with a hot model when you IT & Jury Shaw up out of no Where hadke people revig Frustion.
This paragraph addresses negative social effects but lacks coherence and clarity. The points about fake products and inappropriate content require clearer development and organization. The writer should focus on providing logical reasoning and clearer examples.
Conclusion
in con alusion, adversteveres have some positive economic effets but also still have some negative effects
The conclusion briefly restates the essay's main points but is too brief and lacks depth. It does not effectively summarize the arguments or provide a clear final opinion. A stronger conclusion should be more detailed and re-emphasize the main points discussed.
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