Evaluation for Question #8613

Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Question

Your Essay

Advertisements have become an integral part of modern life, with commercial TV adverts being a primary method of communication for businesses. While some people argue that advertisements bring significant economic benefits, others believe they have negative social effects by fostering dissatisfaction with one's life and possessions. In this essay, I will discuss both views before giving my own opinion.
On one hand, advertisements can have positive economic effects. Commercials, whether on TV or other platforms, have the potential to stimulate the local economy by attracting more customers and enhancing a brand’s image. As more consumers are drawn to buy products, sales increase, leading to higher profits for producers. This can, in turn, create more job opportunities and contribute to a nation’s economic development. For example, as businesses grow and hire more workers to meet demand, living standards improve, and people are able to spend more money, which in turn further boosts the economy. Thus, advertisements can play a key role in creating jobs, driving economic growth, and increasing national prosperity.
On the other hand, advertisements can also have negative social effects. They often set unrealistic beauty standards and wealth expectations, especially when promoting products such as shampoos, clothing, or luxury goods. For example, advertisements frequently portray people with silky hair, flawless appearances, and lavish lifestyles, which can create a false sense of what is attainable. These idealized images may lead some individuals, particularly women, to feel insecure about their looks and their living conditions. As a result, they may experience dissatisfaction with their lives and develop a sense of inadequacy, as they feel pressured to meet the standards advertised. This societal pressure can significantly impact a person’s happiness and self-esteem, affecting their overall life satisfaction.
In my opinion, the economic benefits of advertisements are more significant and tangible than the social drawbacks. Advertisements have the power to create real jobs, stimulate economic activity, and improve living standards. While it is true that some individuals may feel the negative effects of unrealistic beauty or wealth expectations, not everyone is affected in the same way. Many people have their own definitions of beauty and wealth and are not easily swayed by the messages in advertisements. Therefore, the positive economic impact of advertisements, which is visible in the creation of jobs and growth in the economy, outweighs the potential social harms.
In conclusion, advertisements can bring about both positive economic benefits and negative social effects. While some may argue that they promote dissatisfaction and unrealistic expectations, the economic benefits they provide, such as job creation and national economic growth, are more significant. As long as individuals are not overly influenced by these ideals, advertisements can be seen as a valuable tool for economic development.

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7.5

Overall Band

Task Response

Coherence

Lexical

Grammar

The essay presents a clear discussion of both views regarding advertisements, supporting each with relevant examples. It effectively communicates the writer's opinion, aligning it with the arguments made. The essay is well-organized with a logical progression of ideas, although a few more examples could enhance the argument. Vocabulary and grammar are used accurately, though there is room for more complex structures.

The essay addresses all parts of the task, presenting a balanced discussion of both perspectives and providing a clear opinion. Ideas are supported with relevant examples, although additional examples could further strengthen the arguments. The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion, reiterating the writer's stance.

The essay is logically organized, with clear progression of ideas and effective use of linking words. However, the transition between some points could be smoother. Paragraphing is appropriate, but some ideas could be more fully developed to enhance cohesion.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Word choice is mostly precise, although there are opportunities to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary. Accuracy is maintained throughout the essay.

The essay uses a range of grammatical structures accurately. Sentences are generally error-free, though there is potential for more complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Introduction

The introduction effectively sets up the discussion and outlines the essay's structure. It clearly introduces the topic and presents the two perspectives. The thesis statement is clear, guiding the reader on what to expect in the essay.

Body paragraph 1

On one hand, advertisements can have positive economic effects. Commercials, whether on TV or other platforms, have the potential to stimulate the local economy by attracting more customers and enhancing a brand’s image. As more consumers are drawn to buy products, sales increase, leading to higher profits for producers. This can, in turn, create more job opportunities and contribute to a nation’s economic development. For example, as businesses grow and hire more workers to meet demand, living standards improve, and people are able to spend more money, which in turn further boosts the economy. Thus, advertisements can play a key role in creating jobs, driving economic growth, and increasing national prosperity.

This paragraph effectively argues the economic benefits of advertisements, providing logical explanations and examples. The points are clearly articulated, although additional examples could further enhance the argument.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand, advertisements can also have negative social effects. They often set unrealistic beauty standards and wealth expectations, especially when promoting products such as shampoos, clothing, or luxury goods. For example, advertisements frequently portray people with silky hair, flawless appearances, and lavish lifestyles, which can create a false sense of what is attainable. These idealized images may lead some individuals, particularly women, to feel insecure about their looks and their living conditions. As a result, they may experience dissatisfaction with their lives and develop a sense of inadequacy, as they feel pressured to meet the standards advertised. This societal pressure can significantly impact a person’s happiness and self-esteem, affecting their overall life satisfaction.

The paragraph clearly discusses the negative social effects of advertisements, with relevant examples illustrating the points made. The argument is well-developed, but could benefit from additional evidence or perspectives to strengthen the discussion.

Conclusion

In conclusion, advertisements can bring about both positive economic benefits and negative social effects. While some may argue that they promote dissatisfaction and unrealistic expectations, the economic benefits they provide, such as job creation and national economic growth, are more significant. As long as individuals are not overly influenced by these ideals, advertisements can be seen as a valuable tool for economic development.

The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and reinforces the writer's opinion. It succinctly ties together the arguments presented, providing a clear closing to the discussion.

Evaluation for Question #8613

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

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Evaluation for Question #8613

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

(+84) 0383-096-717

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN