Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
You can edit this text for your reference. Changes will not be saved.
6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and provides some supporting arguments. However, the essay lacks depth in analysis and has a few issues with coherence and grammatical accuracy. The vocabulary is adequate but could be more varied and precise.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position. However, it lacks detailed support and analysis for the points raised. The reasons for agreeing with the statement are not fully developed, and the argument could be strengthened with more examples and clearer justification.
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some ideas are not fully linked, and transitions between points could be smoother. There are some issues with paragraphing and logical progression.
The vocabulary used is generally relevant and appropriate, but there is a lack of variety and precision in some areas. There are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choice, which slightly detract from the clarity of the essay.
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including issues with subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and sentence structure. These errors occasionally obscure meaning and affect the overall readability of the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
Nowadays, there is a widening gap in salaries between leaders and regular workers in various organizations, which is considered as crucial. In this essay, I will explain why I totally agree with this statement.
The introduction presents a clear thesis statement but could be more engaging. The expression 'considered as crucial' is vague and could be more specific.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there is no doubt that the executive positions receive greater pay than any other regular workers. For instance, CEOs of Fortune 500 usually make headlines about receiving high salaries, including estates or company shares, which can cost up to millions of US dollars per year. In contrast, with an average workers wage ranges from 15 - 20 dollars per hour. As a result, there is a hundreds times higher rates in comparison. Moreover, higher pay should coincides with higher time and effort investment, however, with the limit of 24 hours a day, leaders cannot work more than a regular worker much. Consequently, this leads to the argument in compensation.
The paragraph presents relevant information but lacks coherence. The contrast between CEO salaries and average worker wages is not clearly linked to the argument. The point about time and effort investment is unclear and needs elaboration. There are grammatical errors such as 'a hundreds times higher rates' and 'should coincides.'
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, leaders play an important role in organization operation. This means that they are directly responsible for an organizations failure or success. Furthermore, an executive role usually undergoes formal training and require years of experiences. Therefore, higher salaries can be considered as a payment for their leadership skills requirement and strong educational backgrounds. In addition, with competitive salaries can attract talented professionals for the company and also boost the productivity of workers. This is because people deem higher wages rewards for dedications and hard work, allowing them to climb up the career ladder. Without the widen gap in salaries, potential talents can seek for other opportunities, creating a decline in business performance of the company.
This paragraph provides a reasonable argument for higher executive salaries but could be more cohesive. The link between salary and attraction of talent is clear, but the point about boosting worker productivity is less so. The paragraph contains grammatical errors such as 'require years of experiences' and 'an organizations failure.'
Conclusion
To sum up, although there is still an unrealistic gap in compensation between leaders and regular workers, its own benefits still justify those concerns. Therefore, I see this as vital.
The conclusion restates the main argument but could be more compelling. The phrase 'its own benefits still justify those concerns' is vague and could be more specific. The conclusion could also briefly suggest potential solutions or implications.
Sign In
[nextend_social_login]
or sign in with email
The password must have a minimum of 8 characters of numbers and letters, contain at least 1 capital letter
Cô Huyền sẽ liên hệ trực tiếp với bạn qua email hoặc điện thoại trong 1-2 ngày tới để trao đổi cụ thể hơn về việc học.
Hoặc bạn cũng có thể chủ động liên hệ với cô giáo theo thông tin dưới đây để được xếp lớp sớm nhất.
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Xin cám ơn.
ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN
Để đăng ký học IELTS lớp cô Huyền, vui lòng điền form dưới đây để được tư vấn. Hoặc gọi điện trực tiếp cho cô giáo theo số +84.0383.096.717 để giữ chỗ.
Để đăng ký nhanh nhất, vui lòng liên hệ trực tiếp cho cô Huyền theo số:
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội
