Evaluation for Question #8656

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your Essay

In recent years, bosses in big companies have achieved better salaries than others. In my opinion, although this seems unequal, I still hold a view that it is crucial in stimulating and developing organizations in office environment.
On the one hand, the group of people who have power do not pay more efforts than other employees. Their is a big difference in wages between CEOs, and executives, and workers. For instance, CEOs of Apple like Tim Cook get more than ten-fold than his employees who just get paid from fifteen to twenty dollars per hour. This is unrealistic because they do not contribute more than anyone else as everybody can just have twenty-four hours a day and have to spend at least eight hours which is unfair. Therefore, it is not worth for them to put in.
On the other hand, paying higher salaries for to those who hold important positions in the company can be a good idea to inspire employees. Competition between each others can stimulate the thrive in getting better position. Moreover, this can be a award for doing well in work. Furthermore, they are key factor who determine the success or failure of the organization, influence the livelihood of workers. It can said that CEOs and executives are represented for their companys strength which need responsibility because only an error in the progress can lead to the collapse of the company.
In conclusion, bosses in big companies are achieving better salaries than others. In my opinion, although this seems unfair as they do not pay more effort and time than their employees, I still hold a view that it is important to attract professionals, inspire employees and develop organization in office environment.

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5.5

Overall Band

Task Response

Coherence

5.5

Lexical

Grammar

The essay attempts to address the task by discussing both sides of the argument. However, it lacks depth in analysis and support for the claims made. The essay struggles with cohesion and coherence, as ideas are not well-developed or clearly linked. Lexical resource and grammatical accuracy are limited, with frequent errors throughout.

The essay addresses the task by presenting an opinion on the pay disparity between CEOs and other workers. However, the response is not fully developed, and the arguments lack depth and specific examples. The conclusion reiterates the opinion, but the overall argument is not convincingly supported.

The essay lacks clear and logical progression of ideas. The introduction sets a premise, but the body paragraphs do not clearly support this with well-organized arguments. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas effectively, and paragraphs feel disjointed.

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with some attempts at complexity. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and usage, which affect clarity and precision. More varied and precise vocabulary is needed to enhance the essay.

The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but frequent errors in syntax, verb forms, and sentence structure are present. These errors often impede understanding. More complex and accurate grammatical constructions are needed.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Introduction

The introduction presents a clear opinion but lacks a strong thesis statement. The language is somewhat informal, and the purpose of the essay is not clearly outlined.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, the group of people who have power do not pay more efforts than other employees. Their is a big difference in wages between CEOs, and executives, and workers. For instance, CEOs of Apple like Tim Cook get more than ten-fold than his employees who just get paid from fifteen to twenty dollars per hour. This is unrealistic because they do not contribute more than anyone else as everybody can just have twenty-four hours a day and have to spend at least eight hours which is unfair. Therefore, it is not worth for them to put in.

This paragraph attempts to argue against high CEO salaries but lacks clarity and coherence. The example of Tim Cook is mentioned, but the explanation is weak and not fully developed. Grammatical errors and awkward phrasing detract from the argument.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand, paying higher salaries for to those who hold important positions in the company can be a good idea to inspire employees. Competition between each others can stimulate the thrive in getting better position. Moreover, this can be a award for doing well in work. Furthermore, they are key factor who determine the success or failure of the organization, influence the livelihood of workers. It can said that CEOs and executives are represented for their companys strength which need responsibility because only an error in the progress can lead to the collapse of the company.

This paragraph argues in favor of high salaries but lacks depth. The ideas are not well-supported, and the language is unclear with several grammatical errors. The argument about responsibility is underdeveloped and could be expanded with specific examples.

Conclusion

In conclusion, bosses in big companies are achieving better salaries than others. In my opinion, although this seems unfair as they do not pay more effort and time than their employees, I still hold a view that it is important to attract professionals, inspire employees and develop organization in office environment.

The conclusion restates the opinion but does not effectively summarize the arguments presented. The language is repetitive, and the ideas lack clarity. A more concise and clear summary of the main points would improve the conclusion.

Evaluation for Question #8656

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

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Links

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Evaluation for Question #8656

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

(+84) 0383-096-717

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN