Evaluation for Question #8656

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your Essay

In recent years, CEOs and personels holding leadership positions are tend to be prioritized for higher salaries than general staffs, proponents of this policy believe that it will contribute to companys success. Personally, I partially agree with this viewpoint because payment differences might brought both negative and positive impact on businesses development.
On the one hand, payment gap among workers is becoming overwhelming in many industries, which can cause an inequality of worker salaries. For instance, major CEO of famous businesses in the world bound to be paid a significant amount of revenue, including bonus, investing profit and company shares. In particular, it is unrealistic that top executives even do not spend hundreds of time more efforts compared to other workers, who have to work around 8 or 9 hours per day but still acquire lower income. As a result, This issue can lead to an unfairness among employees, lessening their motivation and companys productivity.
On the other hand, administrators have to take more responsibilities for operating comany, which deserve higher payment. To illustrate, most of executives in companies are in charged of attracting investing sources from other business, rising essential partnership contracts with commercial medias or well-known brands, which requires insights from leaders to give appropriate decision for success. Moreover, incomes gap motivate employees and attract people who possess high qualification or good social skill. To example, suitable reward will be achieved by workers dedicating their times for company. Additionally, competitive payment attracts skilled professional in various fields, contributing high-quality workforce to compete with other companies.
In short, it is undeniable that both executives and dedicating workers should be achieved high degree of wages based on personal contribution to company benefits instead of prioritizing for specific positions.

You can edit this text for your reference. Changes will not be saved.

5.5

Overall Band

Task Response

Coherence

Lexical

Grammar

The essay presents a balanced view on the issue of salary discrepancies between executives and regular employees; however, it lacks clarity and cohesion in several parts. The ideas are somewhat relevant but not always well-developed, and there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that impede understanding. The vocabulary is sufficient but not varied, and there are issues with sentence structure and coherence.

The essay addresses the task by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of salary differences between executives and other workers. However, the arguments are not fully developed, and some points lack sufficient evidence or examples. The position is clear, but the reasoning is sometimes confusing.

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Ideas are not always connected smoothly, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs are abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes inappropriate, leading to confusion.

The lexical resource is adequate, with some attempt at using less common vocabulary. However, there are instances of incorrect word choices and awkward phrasing that reduce clarity. More variety and precision in vocabulary would enhance the essay.

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and sentence fragments. These errors detract from the overall readability and coherence of the essay. Greater grammatical accuracy and complex sentence structures are needed.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Introduction

The introduction sets out the topic and states a partial agreement, but it contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The thesis statement could be clearer, and the introduction would benefit from a more concise and direct approach.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, payment gap among workers is becoming overwhelming in many industries, which can cause an inequality of worker salaries. For instance, major CEO of famous businesses in the world bound to be paid a significant amount of revenue, including bonus, investing profit and company shares. In particular, it is unrealistic that top executives even do not spend hundreds of time more efforts compared to other workers, who have to work around 8 or 9 hours per day but still acquire lower income. As a result, This issue can lead to an unfairness among employees, lessening their motivation and companys productivity.

This paragraph presents an argument against large salary gaps but lacks clarity and coherence. The ideas are not well-organized, and there are several grammatical errors. The example provided is vague, and the reasoning is not fully developed.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand, administrators have to take more responsibilities for operating comany, which deserve higher payment. To illustrate, most of executives in companies are in charged of attracting investing sources from other business, rising essential partnership contracts with commercial medias or well-known brands, which requires insights from leaders to give appropriate decision for success. Moreover, incomes gap motivate employees and attract people who possess high qualification or good social skill. To example, suitable reward will be achieved by workers dedicating their times for company. Additionally, competitive payment attracts skilled professional in various fields, contributing high-quality workforce to compete with other companies.

This paragraph attempts to justify higher salaries for executives but contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrases. The points made are relevant but not well-connected, and the examples lack specificity. The paragraph could be more focused and coherent.

Conclusion

In short, it is undeniable that both executives and dedicating workers should be achieved high degree of wages based on personal contribution to company benefits instead of prioritizing for specific positions.

The conclusion summarizes the main points but is vague and poorly worded. It lacks a strong closing statement and does not provide a clear resolution to the discussion. The grammatical errors detract from its effectiveness.

Evaluation for Question #8656

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN

(+84) 0383-096-717

Evaluation for Question #8656

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

(+84) 0383-096-717

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN