Evaluation for Question #8656

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your Essay

In recent years, huge organizations pay higher income to directors than other employees. In my opinion, I agree with this point as it can promote companies' success and in this essay, I will illustrate the argument.
Firstly, it can be acknowledged that top executives play a crucial role in developing businesses. CEOs are the person who invest ideas, manage workers, be responsible for an organization's success and failure. Because of that, they should be paid for higher salaries with bonus packages as rewards in order to promote their guilty to companies.
Moreover, paying more money to directors can attract talented participants and develop companies successfully. When managers get a greater far pay, it can create a sense of career pursuade among workers and apprentices. As a result, people tend to work better to achieve the role such as manager, leader, so that they will have more salaries to update the quality of life. Thus, this can create a significant impact on business’s success as the more people work, the more successful the company is.
Overall, CEOs of huge organizations receive higher income is not considered as a bias as they contribute their professional skills and knowledges to maintain and improve companies. Also the action of creating a gap between executives and others employees can promote workers’ productivity, leading to the growth of organizations.

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Overall Band

Task Response

Coherence

Lexical

Grammar

The essay presents a clear position and provides reasons for the opinion that CEOs should earn higher salaries. However, there are areas in need of improvement, particularly in coherence, cohesion, and grammatical accuracy. The arguments are somewhat repetitive, and the vocabulary is limited.

The essay addresses the task effectively by presenting a clear opinion and supporting it with reasons. However, the arguments could be expanded with more specific examples and detailed explanations to enhance the response.

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, some parts of the argument are repetitive, which affects the overall coherence.

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, there are errors such as 'guilty' instead of 'loyalty' and 'pursuade' instead of 'pursuit'. There is also a need for more varied and precise vocabulary.

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, particularly with verb tenses, articles, and sentence structures. These errors sometimes make the meaning unclear and affect the overall readability of the essay.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Introduction

The introduction states the writer's opinion clearly but lacks a strong thesis statement. The phrase 'illustrate the argument' is vague. Consider mentioning the main points that will be discussed.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly, it can be acknowledged that top executives play a crucial role in developing businesses. CEOs are the person who invest ideas, manage workers, be responsible for an organization's success and failure. Because of that, they should be paid for higher salaries with bonus packages as rewards in order to promote their guilty to companies.

The paragraph presents a valid reason for higher CEO salaries but lacks depth in explanation. There are grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'promote their guilty to companies'. More specific examples could strengthen the argument.

Body paragraph 2

Moreover, paying more money to directors can attract talented participants and develop companies successfully. When managers get a greater far pay, it can create a sense of career pursuade among workers and apprentices. As a result, people tend to work better to achieve the role such as manager, leader, so that they will have more salaries to update the quality of life. Thus, this can create a significant impact on business’s success as the more people work, the more successful the company is.

This paragraph introduces the idea of motivation and competition. However, it is somewhat repetitive and contains grammatical errors that obscure the meaning. The vocabulary is limited, and there is a need for clearer connections between ideas.

Conclusion

Overall, CEOs of huge organizations receive higher income is not considered as a bias as they contribute their professional skills and knowledges to maintain and improve companies. Also the action of creating a gap between executives and others employees can promote workers’ productivity, leading to the growth of organizations.

The conclusion summarizes the main points but introduces new ideas, which should be avoided. Grammatical errors are present, and the conclusion could be more concise.

Evaluation for Question #8656

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

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Evaluation for Question #8656

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

(+84) 0383-096-717

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN