Evaluation for Question #8656

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your Essay

Nowadays, it is becoming popular about people who play the leadership roles should receive better wages than other employees. While some deem to an essence of doing business, this is unfair to the others. In this essay, I strongly agree that big companies should pay large amount of salaries to the directors, I will analyze both sides and present my opinion.
On the other hand, the compensation gap is staggering between the leaders and employees. This is unfair to some who have lower salaries. For instance, CEOs of 500 Fortune can receive large amount of salaries with a huge benefit packages while others just receive an amount at the modest sum at around 15 to 20 US dollars. This is unrealistic because top executives do not spend all their time for working, they just spend their time at work the same as the employees or even less at about 8 hours per day. If they’re productive, maybe they could work up to 12 to 13 hours in a limit 24 hours but it’s not worth to considering pay them a much larger amount of salaries than other workers.
On the other hand, that is crucial to maintain the organizational successful, also it represent the responsibility of the leaders through wages. There is no doubt that the CEOs have to take care and have the responsibility for the company’s success or failure, directors even use their own money to invest in the company shares and stocks. Besides, executives need to handle a lot of heavy and difficult job such as deal with another company about the compromise or take care of all the human resources stuff. Therefore, high pays always come with good qualifications, highly skilled professional and their ability to be the leadership so other workers can look after them to rise up to that position and receive the amount of salaries they want.
In conclusion, I personally think that the executives deserve high salaries for what they’ve been worked hard to fight for. Other employees should be productive at work to thrive to higher position to receive their dream wages rather than keep complaining that this is unfair.

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5.5

Overall Band

Task Response

Coherence

Lexical

Grammar

The essay presents a basic discussion on the topic but lacks depth in analysis and clarity in argumentation. The language used is often unclear and there are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. The structure is somewhat organized but lacks coherence, especially in transitioning between ideas.

The essay attempts to address the task by discussing both sides of the argument. However, the analysis is superficial and lacks specific examples or evidence to support the points made. The opinion is stated but not well-developed throughout the essay.

There is an attempt at organizing the essay into paragraphs, but the ideas within and between paragraphs are not well-connected. Transitional phrases are limited and paragraphs do not always logically follow from one another, which impacts the overall coherence of the essay.

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary with some attempts at using less common words. However, there are several inappropriate word choices and expressions that affect clarity. Repetitive language is also noted.

There are frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, prepositions, and sentence structures. These errors sometimes obscure meaning and reduce the overall grammatical accuracy of the essay.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Introduction

The introduction attempts to introduce the topic and state an opinion but is unclear and awkwardly phrased. There is confusion in the sentence structure and word choice, making it difficult to grasp the main argument immediately.

Body paragraph 1

On the other hand, the compensation gap is staggering between the leaders and employees. This is unfair to some who have lower salaries. For instance, CEOs of 500 Fortune can receive large amount of salaries with a huge benefit packages while others just receive an amount at the modest sum at around 15 to 20 US dollars. This is unrealistic because top executives do not spend all their time for working, they just spend their time at work the same as the employees or even less at about 8 hours per day. If they’re productive, maybe they could work up to 12 to 13 hours in a limit 24 hours but it’s not worth to considering pay them a much larger amount of salaries than other workers.

The paragraph presents an argument against high salaries for CEOs but lacks clarity and specific examples. The argument that CEOs work similar hours to other employees is not well-supported. There are numerous grammatical errors that affect comprehension.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand, that is crucial to maintain the organizational successful, also it represent the responsibility of the leaders through wages. There is no doubt that the CEOs have to take care and have the responsibility for the company’s success or failure, directors even use their own money to invest in the company shares and stocks. Besides, executives need to handle a lot of heavy and difficult job such as deal with another company about the compromise or take care of all the human resources stuff. Therefore, high pays always come with good qualifications, highly skilled professional and their ability to be the leadership so other workers can look after them to rise up to that position and receive the amount of salaries they want.

The paragraph attempts to justify high salaries for executives but is again hampered by poor grammar and unclear expression. The ideas are not fully developed and the paragraph lacks a logical flow. The use of examples is vague and does not effectively support the argument.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I personally think that the executives deserve high salaries for what they’ve been worked hard to fight for. Other employees should be productive at work to thrive to higher position to receive their dream wages rather than keep complaining that this is unfair.

The conclusion reiterates the writer's opinion but does not effectively summarize the main points of the essay. The phrasing is awkward and there are grammatical issues that detract from the clarity of the final statement.

Evaluation for Question #8656

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

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Links

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Evaluation for Question #8656

Question

Your Essay

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Introduction

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion

Đăng ký học với AIM8IELTS.com

Links

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

(+84) 0383-096-717

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

(+84) 0383-096-717

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN