Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Question
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
You can edit this text for your reference. Changes will not be saved.
6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant arguments. However, the essay could benefit from clearer organization and more precise language use to enhance coherence and lexical resource.
The essay discusses both views and provides a clear opinion on the issue. The main points are relevant and supported with examples. However, the essay could further elaborate on the opposing view and provide a more balanced discussion.
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, the organization of ideas could be clearer, particularly in connecting the ideas within paragraphs. Some sentences and ideas are not clearly linked, affecting the overall cohesion.
The vocabulary used is adequate for discussing the topic, but there are instances of inappropriate word choice and awkward phrasing. The essay could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language.
The writer demonstrates a reasonable control of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors in sentence structure and phrasing. These errors occasionally impede understanding and detract from the overall clarity of the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Introduction
Some individuals say that diminishing the number of products’ packaging is the obligation of producing companies and supermarkets. However, others assume that people should not consume items having many layers of cover. In my opinion, producing or using items having no outer covers is hard for both manufacturing businesses, stores and buyers.
The introduction clearly outlines the two sides of the argument and states the writer's opinion. However, the phrasing is somewhat awkward, and the introduction could be more concise.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, it is infeasible for customers to buy goods without packaging. To begin with, buyers tend to choose their products based on the information and images on the outer layers. As a consequence, buying no cover products makes people not understand about those that they use. Moreover, buyers always want to ensure the quality of their items that they consume. For example, when buying a food product, they will buy the one covered carefully and having longer expiration printing on its packaging.
The paragraph presents relevant arguments about the consumer perspective. However, the language could be clearer, and some sentences are awkwardly constructed. The example provided supports the argument but could be more detailed.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, one of the major reasons why manufacturing businesses and shops should be responsible for the amount of packaging for goods is that they may harm the environment. Most covers of products are not used when people buy them while they are made of plastic or other material that is ecological unfriendly. As a result, they will significantly contribute a large amount of waste into the ecosystem. However, it seems to be difficult to avoid producing things with packaging since it could have negative effects on the income of those businesses. The exterior layer is created to protect the quality of the products and make them more appealing, which encourages people to buy them. Instead, companies and stores should use environmentally friendly materials as an alternative to make the outer covers, which not only helps ease the effects on the environment but also maintain the products’ quality and appearance.
The paragraph effectively discusses the environmental impact of packaging and the business perspective. The suggestion of using eco-friendly materials is a strong point. However, the paragraph is quite lengthy and could be better organized for clarity. Some sentences are overly complex and could be simplified.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while it is impossible for both manufacturing or selling companies and consumers to avoid things with outer packaging, in my perspective, the businesses should use other types of material which is eco-friendly to produce the exterior covers for their goods.
The conclusion restates the writer's opinion and suggests a solution. It effectively summarizes the main points but could be more concise and refined in its language use.
Sign In
[nextend_social_login]
or sign in with email
The password must have a minimum of 8 characters of numbers and letters, contain at least 1 capital letter
Cô Huyền sẽ liên hệ trực tiếp với bạn qua email hoặc điện thoại trong 1-2 ngày tới để trao đổi cụ thể hơn về việc học.
Hoặc bạn cũng có thể chủ động liên hệ với cô giáo theo thông tin dưới đây để được xếp lớp sớm nhất.
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Xin cám ơn.
ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN
Để đăng ký học IELTS lớp cô Huyền, vui lòng điền form dưới đây để được tư vấn. Hoặc gọi điện trực tiếp cho cô giáo theo số +84.0383.096.717 để giữ chỗ.
Để đăng ký nhanh nhất, vui lòng liên hệ trực tiếp cho cô Huyền theo số:
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội