Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Question
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view on the topic, providing arguments for both sides. However, it lacks depth in its arguments and some examples could be more relevant. There are also some grammatical errors and awkward expressions that reduce clarity.
The essay addresses the task well, presenting a clear stance and supporting it with relevant arguments. However, the argument could be developed further with more specific examples, especially in the paragraphs supporting individual actions.
The essay is organized logically with clear paragraphing. However, some linking words and phrases are used repetitively, and there are abrupt transitions between ideas in some parts, which affects the overall flow.
The vocabulary is appropriate but somewhat limited. Some expressions are awkward or unclear, and there is repetition of certain terms. More varied and precise language would improve the essay.
There are several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures that impact the clarity of the essay. More complex sentence structures and accurate grammar usage would enhance the overall quality.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction
People believe that each person can not contribute to the improvement of the environment and just authority and big business can make changes. I partly disagree with this point of view.
The introduction presents the topic and states the writer's position. However, it could be more engaging and provide a brief overview of the main points to be discussed.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are various reasons why people think only governments and corporations can help the environment. Firstly, they have enough financial resources to solve issues in our habitat. To illustrate, big companies can invest money on research to identify the problems that exist in our society. For example, Vinfast, which is the biggest company in Vietnam, helps to reduce air pollution by replacing gasoline cars with electric cars. Furthermore, they also use eco-friendly methods in their factories to remove emissions into our society. Secondly, the government can introduce new strict laws to protect the environment. By giving rules about cleaning wastewater before factories release it into rivers, the water habitat can be improved.
This paragraph presents valid points about the role of governments and corporations. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother, and the example of Vinfast, while relevant, could be explained in more detail to strengthen the argument.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, I believe not only big companies and authorities can help the environment but also individuals. First of all, people can take small actions every day such as saving electricity and water or using renewable energy. To illustrate, one person’s effort may seem small, however, if many do the same, the impact is big. For example, if many people use reusable bags instead of plastic bags, companies may stop making plastic bags. Furthermore, a huge number of vehicles on the road are contributed by the population, therefore if persons use more public transportation, they can protect the environment.
This paragraph supports the role of individuals with some examples. However, the examples are somewhat generic and could be developed further with more specific details. The paragraph could also benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions.
Conclusion
In conclusion, although individuals do fewer things than governments and large companies, I accept that they can still take part in environmental protection.
The conclusion summarizes the main points but is quite brief. It could be expanded to reinforce the writer's position and suggest broader implications or actions.
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