Evaluation for Question #8778

Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Question

Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your Essay

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6.5
Overall Band
7
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar

The essay presents a balanced discussion on the roles of government and individuals in addressing pollution from transportation. However, there are some issues with coherence, grammatical accuracy, and lexical resource that affect the overall clarity and persuasiveness of the argument.

The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. The argument is generally clear and relevant, but further development of ideas and examples could strengthen the response.

The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, there are some issues with cohesion due to abrupt transitions and some unclear expressions that affect the overall flow of the essay.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are awkward or imprecise. There are also occasional errors in word form and usage that detract from the clarity of the argument.

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors, including punctuation, article usage, and sentence fragments, which impact the readability of the text.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Introduction

In recent years ,more and more people are aware of the significance of the preservation of the environment. While some claim that nature conservation is a duty of only the government as a single person's impact is minimal, I partly agree with this viewpoint since both sides' contributions are equally valuable.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, the law makers are often big organizations,which can provide programs or enforce laws and regulations more effectively to the whole public than a single individual's contributions.By implementing laws such as restricting the amount of waste discharged to the environment of each person and imposing environmental taxes, politicians may adjust humans’ lifestyles to enhance eco-friendly practices. Thus, this leads to a significant improvement in environmental protection. In addition, environmental protection programs led by the authorities can spread across borders .Only the government has the authority and power required to collaborate with other countries to implement environmental protection programs in the most effective way.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand ,while the government is crucial, individuals can help by collective effort from all stakeholders, which is also essential for effective environment protection methods. Firstly,if citizens are aware of the security themselves, it will achieve mass effectiveness in the protection of the safety of the environment around them. For instance, some households conserve the environment by using renewable energy, reusing, and recycling production, helping our environment become free of pollution.Secondly, governments should take into consideration the ineffectiveness of policies without public support.As community-led initiatives can be more flexible and specific to the needs of the local environment, often achieving results faster than larger government program.

Conclusion

In conclusion,while global environmental preservation should be implemented by governments, these issues can not be fully addressed without individuals' efforts, which play an important role in lessening environmental pollution. Thus, I personally claim that both governments and citizens should take the responsibility of saving nature.

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