Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Question
Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
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Giải thích
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7
Overall Band
7
Task Response
7
Coherence
7
Lexical
7
Grammar
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a balanced discussion of both views and offering a clear opinion. The arguments are well-developed with relevant examples, and the conclusion summarizes the key points effectively. The essay is coherent and cohesive, with a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures. Some areas for improvement include enhancing the depth of analysis and providing more specific examples.
The essay responds well to the task, discussing both perspectives and presenting a clear opinion. The arguments are relevant and supported by examples, although they could be more specific. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the opinion. To improve, the essay could provide a deeper analysis of each perspective and more detailed examples.
The essay is logically organized, with clear paragraphing and effective use of cohesive devices. The introduction sets the context, and each paragraph has a clear main idea. The conclusion ties the discussion together well. To enhance coherence, the essay could use more varied linking phrases and ensure smoother transitions between some ideas.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with appropriate word choice. There is some use of higher-level vocabulary, which is mostly used accurately. To improve, the essay could incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance expression and clarity.
The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures with a high level of accuracy. There are no significant grammatical errors, and sentence structures are varied. To further improve, the essay could experiment with more complex sentence structures and ensure precision in grammar.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Introduction
Researchers have identified transportation of goods and people as a primary source of environmental pollution. While some argue that governments bear the primary responsibility for addressing this issue, others contend that individual citizens are largely to blame. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own view that a collaborative approach is essential.
The introduction effectively sets the context and outlines the two perspectives. It clearly states the writer's opinion, which guides the reader. Consider adding a brief mention of the importance or impact of pollution to provide more context.
Body paragraph 1
Those who advocate for governmental responsibility point to the authorities' capacity to implement large-scale, impactful measures. Governments possess the legislative power to enact regulations and enforce them through substantial fines and taxation, effectively deterring environmentally damaging behaviors. For example, international agreements such as the COP24 Paris Accord demonstrate the government's ability to mobilize global cooperation on environmental protection. These initiatives highlight the potential for governments to drive systemic change and foster collective action on a global scale.
This paragraph presents a strong argument for governmental responsibility, supported by a relevant example. It clearly explains the mechanisms through which governments can effect change. To improve, consider providing more specific examples or evidence of successful governmental interventions.
Body paragraph 2
Conversely, it is undeniable that individual actions significantly contribute to pollution. Each citizen, through daily activities such as private vehicle use, generates a substantial carbon footprint. In densely populated countries like Vietnam, with its nearly 95 million residents, the cumulative impact of these individual emissions is significant. Furthermore, a lack of environmental awareness among citizens exacerbates the problem. Insufficient education, both at home and in schools, often results in a disregard for environmental consequences, leading to behaviors that contribute to pollution.
This paragraph effectively discusses the impact of individual actions on pollution. It provides specific examples and highlights the role of education. To enhance this paragraph, consider exploring further the reasons behind individuals' behaviors or suggesting ways individuals can reduce their impact.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while both governments and individuals play distinct roles in the creation and mitigation of pollution, a collaborative approach is paramount. Governments must establish and enforce effective policies, while citizens must adopt responsible practices. Ultimately, a combined effort, leveraging governmental power and individual accountability, offers the most effective solution to this complex environmental challenge.
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's opinion. It provides a clear and concise ending to the essay. To strengthen the conclusion, consider briefly suggesting specific actions that both governments and individuals could take.
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