Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Question
Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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7
Overall Band
7
Task Response
7
Coherence
6
Lexical
7
Grammar
The essay addresses the task effectively, discussing both perspectives on the role of governments and individuals in addressing pollution from transportation. The writer presents a balanced discussion and provides a clear opinion. The essay is well-structured and ideas are logically organized. However, some areas for improvement include further developing arguments and enhancing vocabulary usage.
The essay provides a clear response to the task, discussing both views and giving an opinion. The writer presents relevant arguments for each perspective and concludes with a justified opinion. However, the arguments could be further developed with more specific examples and analysis to strengthen the response.
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing. Ideas are logically sequenced and connected with appropriate linking words. The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion. To improve coherence, the writer could enhance the transitions between ideas within paragraphs.
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary with some variation. However, there is a need for more precise and varied language to convey ideas more effectively. Some expressions are repetitive, and the essay could benefit from more sophisticated vocabulary.
The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures with mostly accurate usage. There are occasional errors, but they do not impede understanding. The writer uses complex sentences effectively, though more variety in sentence structures would enhance the grammatical range.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Introduction
Many recent studies have demonstrated that the major reason for pollution is transportation of commodities and people. Some individuals say that the states should be responsible for this problem, while others argue that it is the obligation of all residents. In my opinion, I believe that both governments and citizens should cooperate to address the pollution from transportation, leading to the best results.
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents the two perspectives as well as the writer's opinion. It effectively sets up the discussion for the following paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are several reasons why the authorities should be those who solve the pollution caused by transportation. First, the government has a strong influence on people's activities. As a result, they should organize some environmental campaigns to raise people's awareness of the negative effects on the ecosystem caused by their daily activities, making them reduce their habits that produce trash. Moreover, they have the ability to impose taxes and implement laws on transport activities in order to reduce the gas emissions from those vehicles. For example, the states can encourage companies to use renewable resources instead of fossil fuels in their transport chain, which is more environmentally-friendly and causes fewer pollutants.
The paragraph effectively discusses the government's role in addressing pollution, providing relevant arguments and examples. However, it could benefit from more detailed examples and analysis to strengthen the points made.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, individuals should change their traveling habits to diminish the amount of CO2 released from transportation. In fact, many reports have illustrated that the large number of private means of transport seems to be the main source of pollution. As a consequence, people should switch to public transportation to decrease the number of vehicles on the road, which significantly contributes to less pollution from transport. Additionally, public support plays an important role in the effectiveness of governments’ policies. If individuals do not join hands, states’ actions will be infeasible to deal with these environmental problems, which are most associated with personal travel habits.
The paragraph discusses the individual's role in reducing pollution, supported by logical reasoning. The arguments are clear, but further examples and more in-depth exploration of ideas would enhance the paragraph.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that the collective efforts among residents and states would be the best way to ease the pollution related to transportation as the government can increase people’s knowledge of the environment or tax transportation, while each citizen can limit the use of personal transportation and advocate political environmental laws.
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the opinion, providing a clear and concise ending to the essay. It reinforces the importance of collaboration between governments and individuals.
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