Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Question
Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5.5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
6
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay presents a discussion on the responsibility for pollution caused by transportation, touching on both government and individual roles. While the essay covers both perspectives, the arguments lack depth and development. The language used shows a basic range of vocabulary and grammar, with several errors affecting clarity.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument, but the ideas are not fully developed or supported with detailed examples. The opinion is stated but not clearly justified. The conclusion is missing, which affects the task achievement.
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction and body paragraphs. However, the lack of a conclusion affects coherence. Some cohesion is achieved through linking words, but there are abrupt transitions and awkward sentence structures that hinder the flow of the essay.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some attempt at using less common words. There are instances of incorrect word choice and collocations, which affect the overall clarity and precision of the essay.
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, prepositions, and sentence structures. These errors, along with awkward phrasing, affect the clarity and readability of the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government should be in charge of this, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Introduction
There is an ongoing discussion about whether the government should be accountable for the contamination that caused by THE transportation of products and people or individuals need to be responsible of=> FOR this. I believe that the government can take apparent actions to protect its nation’s environment by enacting laws and regulations, making A significant contribution while individuals can change their habitat to a better way => in a better way.
The introduction introduces the topic and states an opinion. However, it contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The thesis statement is not clearly articulated, and the introduction could be more concise.
Body paragraph 1
First and foremost, each person can be a main factor to prevent pollution. Small activities can be made by=> THROUGH daily tasks which can have considerable influence in adopting more eco-friendly lifestyles. For instance, people can save the energy when not using it, use reusable things and raise awareness about going towards sustainable habits. Moreover, humans have the ability to encourage people around them not to cause damage to the environment. For example, they can organise some campaigns to change the way people think and take measurement=> MEASURES such as planting more trees to conserve the natural surroundings.
This paragraph presents the argument that individuals can help prevent pollution. It provides some examples but lacks depth and specificity. The paragraph contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which affect clarity.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly, the government can create more obvious impact on protecting the environment and deal with those issues by some big solutions. The authority should be in charge of polluted problems.=> POLLUTION PROBLEMS
The paragraph introduces the role of the government but is underdeveloped. It lacks specific examples or detailed explanations of how the government can address the issue. The paragraph ends abruptly and contains grammatical errors.
Conclusion
The essay lacks a conclusion, which is essential for summarizing the arguments and clearly stating the writer's opinion. The absence of a conclusion affects the coherence and completeness of the essay.
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