Evaluation for Question #8805

Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?

Question

Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?

Your Essay

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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar

The essay provides a balanced view of the impact of advertising, discussing both positive and negative aspects. However, the arguments could have been more developed with clearer examples. There are some issues with coherence and cohesion, as well as lexical and grammatical inaccuracies.

The essay addresses the task by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of advertising. However, the analysis lacks depth, and the examples provided are not very specific. The conclusion does not clearly state whether the development is predominantly positive or negative.

The essay is logically organized, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Some sentences are not well connected, leading to a lack of cohesion in parts of the essay. Paragraphing is used, but more effective use of linking phrases would enhance coherence.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there are inaccuracies and awkward phrases. Some words are repeated, and there is room for more varied language. Phrases like 'comfort zone' and 'enhancement of technology' are not used appropriately in context.

There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation mistakes. Sentence structures are varied, but complex structures are not always used correctly.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?

Introduction

Advertisements are becoming increasingly common day by day in daily life. It is a good way to get closer to consumers but is it an advantage or a disadvantage? In this essay, I will analyze how advertisements can directly affect our comfort zone.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, commercials interrupt people in fact that they are annoying and overwhelming. With the evolution of technology, users can be bombarded with a dozen ads on every platform, which can disturb our favourite tv shows or working processes. Additionally, it can reduce the quality of viewer’s online entertainment and has potential dangers such as deception and invasion of privacy through targeted ads. It commonly happens as you can see, the ad will pop up when you are watching films and you could be profiled if you click in. Moreover, advertising also misleads or manipulates consumers with exaggerated information. Manufacturers will create marketing campaigns based on recent insights into customer concerns and preferences in order to draw attention, leading to hìgher revenue and promote brand images. These ads are often presented in an overrated way that makes them seem better than they really are, or appeal to emotions rather than providing actual information by inspiring individuals with unrealistic beauty standards and pushing people to buy things they don’t even need.

Body paragraph 2

However, it is undeniable that promotion sometimes brings good and useful things to society or governments. Advertisements not only help people be aware of new products, services but also keep them informed about the latest trends, technologies, and offers, making it easier for them to find good deals. It also plays an important role in economic growth by reaching a wide range of potential customers through different kinds of ads so as to fulfill their increasing demands with satisfaction and create more job opportunities.

Conclusion

To sum up, the growth of advertisements is mostly due to the competition between companies as well as the enhancement of technology.However, this is also the negative because of the risky about privacy and annoying in the experiments

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