Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Question
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5.0
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay addresses the task by discussing both positive and negative aspects of advertising. However, it lacks a clear and consistent argument, and the analysis is underdeveloped. There are issues with coherence and cohesion due to awkward sentence structures and transitions. Lexical resource is limited, and there are noticeable grammar errors.
The essay attempts to cover both sides of the argument but does not fully develop the points, particularly the positive aspects. The conclusion is presented, but the argument is not clearly supported throughout the essay. Additionally, the essay lacks a clear stance until the conclusion.
The essay lacks logical progression and clear structure. Transitions between ideas are abrupt, and there is a lack of cohesion between paragraphs. The introduction does not clearly outline the essay's argument, and the conclusion introduces new ideas not fully explored in the body paragraphs.
Vocabulary usage is basic and repetitive. There are some attempts at using higher-level vocabulary, but inaccuracies and awkward phrasing reduce the effectiveness. More precise and varied vocabulary is needed to convey ideas more clearly.
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, awkward sentence structures, and punctuation mistakes. These errors sometimes obscure meaning and reduce clarity. More complex sentence structures could enhance the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Introduction
As the society develops, it contributes massively to the growth of social advertisements and now, ads are everywhere in either downtown or rural areas. This essay will improve the pros and cons of this phenomenon and decide whether this is a great improvement or not.
The introduction attempts to present the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement. It also contains vague language and grammatical issues. The phrase 'improve the pros and cons' is incorrect and confusing.
Body paragraph 1
To begin with the first major benefit, advertising has the positive effect of spreading information toward consumers. As ads appear everywhere in the world, people always catch up with the informations, trends allowing them to buy more and use more products. Not just that, at a providing and could also result in more sales; while people get informed, they would buy more and it contributes to the social economy.
This paragraph lacks clarity and development. The benefits of advertising are not clearly explained, and the argument is not well-supported. The sentence structure is awkward and contains grammatical errors.
Body paragraph 2
But in another perspective, advertising everywhere is a significant drawback. advertisements might be interruptive, annoying people surfing the internet. Ads like pops-ups bring an extremely annoying surfing experience especially when we have to concentrate. For example, we are finding information online then suddenly an ad pops up right onto the screen and it cannot be shut down, it not just distracts us but also time-consuming when we have to close it. One of the most significant drawbacks of advertisements is that they could spread false information about their products leading to misunderstanding among customers. Ads could carry lots of information towards customers but they could be bad. Receiving incorrect facts without knowing they're misleading can be even more dangerous.
The paragraph presents the negative side of advertising with some examples. However, it is lengthy and unfocused, with several ideas crammed into one paragraph. The sentences are sometimes awkwardly constructed, leading to confusion. The argument about false information is valid but underdeveloped.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I am convinced that the increasing prevalence of advertising in everyday life is a negative development, given its intrusive and disruptive nature and potential violation of personal privacy.
The conclusion asserts a clear stance but introduces the idea of violating personal privacy, which was not discussed in the body paragraphs. The conclusion could be improved by summarizing the main points more effectively and ensuring consistency with the essay's arguments.
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