Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Question
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
4
Grammar
The essay addresses the topic by presenting both the positive and negative aspects of advertising, although it leans towards considering it a negative development. However, there are several issues related to grammar, coherence, and vocabulary that hinder clarity and effectiveness.
The essay attempts to cover both sides of the argument but lacks depth in analysis. The main argument that advertising has more drawbacks is not sufficiently supported with concrete examples or detailed reasoning. The position is stated but not consistently maintained throughout the essay.
The essay is organized into paragraphs that address different points, but there are issues with coherence and logical progression. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs are not smooth, and some ideas are repeated without adding new information.
A limited range of vocabulary is used, and there are several errors in word choice and collocation. Some phrases are awkward or incorrect, which affects clarity. More precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the argument.
There are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, verb tense, and article usage. These errors make it difficult to follow the argument in places. More attention to grammatical rules is needed to improve clarity.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Introduction
Nowadays advertising is becoming more and more familiar in daily life. There are many argue surrounded these subject including the pros and cons of advertisements. In my point of view, i think this developments have more drawback. This essay will explore both sides of these arguments before reaching a conclusion.
The introduction sets up the topic but contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The thesis statement is present but lacks clarity and precision. It doesn't clearly state the writer's position.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, business usually promote their products or services through celebrities, thanks to whose influences that these products can reach the potential customers and raise their brand awareness. A campaign that run by a celebrity would certainly helps the increasing for companies also boosting the economic for the society. Furthermore, from online and offline advertisements, buyers are provided with useful information that helps them to choose the most suitable item for their daily life. Moreover, this specially help them to fulfil the demands and needs to improve their life quality.
This paragraph presents some positive aspects of advertising but lacks clarity due to grammatical errors and awkward expressions. The points made are valid but lack depth and supporting evidence. The connection between ideas could be clearer.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, some advertisements gives us untrue and misunderstanding information, because business tend to exaggerate the quality of product to attract customers. So it is very dissapointed for buyers when receive actual products, leading their returning those items without being refund. Another drawback of advertisement is it create a trend that every people will persuade the latest and the modest like in the advertisement. This may lead to a huge impulse buying trend of unnecessary items without careful decision.
This paragraph discusses the negative aspects of advertising but is hindered by several grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions. The points about misleading advertisements and consumer behavior are relevant but need more detailed explanation and examples.
Conclusion
All in all, the facts mentioned above have created a dilemma for both advance and drawback of advertising. As far as i concerned, my point of view still think that the drawbacks out- weight the advance.
The conclusion restates the writer's position but is weakened by grammatical errors and lack of precision in language. It does not effectively summarize the key points discussed in the essay.
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