Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Question
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view on the topic, discussing both positive and negative aspects of advertising. However, it lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which affects the overall coherence. The arguments are supported by examples, but the essay could benefit from more specific details and a clearer structure.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the positive and negative developments of advertising. However, it lacks a clear position or overall stance, and the absence of an introduction and conclusion affects the completeness of the response. The examples provided are relevant, but more specific details could enhance the argument.
The essay is generally logically organized with clear paragraphs discussing different points. However, the lack of an introduction and conclusion affects the overall coherence. Transitions between ideas are present but could be smoother. Clear topic sentences and concluding sentences within paragraphs would improve cohesion.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are some repetitive phrases, and more varied expressions could be used to enhance lexical resource. There are minor errors, such as inconsistent verb forms, which slightly affect comprehension.
The essay generally uses a range of grammatical structures accurately. However, there are some errors, such as misplaced commas and inconsistent verb forms. Sentences are mostly clear, but more complex structures could be used to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Introduction
The essay lacks an introduction, which affects the overall structure and coherence. An introductory paragraph should present the topic and outline the main points that will be discussed.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are several reasons why individuals believe this growth is positive. Firstly, advertisements inform consumers about new products, services, helping them make informed decisions. To illustrate, Instead of spending time researching various products, consumers can rely on advertisements to highlight key characteristics, discounts or special offers, saving them time and effort. Secondly, advertising stimulates economic growth by driving demand, supporting businesses, and creating jobs across multiple sectors, from production to media. For example, a successful advertising campaign for a new smartphone can lead to a surge in sales, benefiting not only the manufacturing company but also retailers, advertisers, and even app developers.
This paragraph presents clear arguments and examples supporting the positive aspects of advertising. The ideas are generally well-developed, but the paragraph would benefit from a clearer topic sentence and more varied vocabulary.
Body paragraph 2
Despite these advantages advertising brings, this evolution contains various negatives. First of all, advertisements can be annoying and overwhelming. With the rise of digital advertising, people are bombarded with ads on every platform, often interrupting their activities. This constant exposure can become frustrating and annoying, reducing the quality of the online experience and even invading privacy through targeted ads. Another reason is some advertisements use exaggerated claims or manipulative tactics to influence consumers. These ads often present products in a way that makes them seem better than they really are, or they appeal to emotions rather than providing factual information. As a consequence, the population can be misled through this progress.
The paragraph effectively discusses the negative aspects of advertising with relevant examples. It could be improved by offering a concluding sentence that ties the ideas together. Additionally, varying sentence structures would enhance readability.
Conclusion
The essay lacks a conclusion, which weakens the overall argument. A concluding paragraph should summarize the main points and restate the writer's stance on the topic.
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