Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Question
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced view of advertising's impacts, identifying both positive and negative aspects. However, the arguments could be developed further with more specific examples and analysis. The language is generally clear, but there are some issues with grammar and vocabulary that affect the clarity and precision of the ideas presented.
The essay addresses the task by discussing both positive and negative aspects of advertising. However, the arguments are somewhat generalized and could benefit from more specific examples and deeper analysis. The conclusion is clear, but the reasoning in the body paragraphs lacks depth.
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some ideas are not fully developed, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but not varied.
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice is not precise. There is some repetition, and opportunities to use more varied and sophisticated language are missed.
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and article usage. These errors occasionally obscure meaning.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Introduction
Nowadays, the advertising field has been growing increasingly, becoming one of the dominant industries in many economies. The impact of this trend needs to be examined.
The introduction is clear and sets up the topic well, but it could be more engaging. The thesis statement is somewhat vague and could specify whether the essay will focus on positive or negative impacts.
Body paragraph 1
To begin with, it is undeniable that people are constantly bombarded with ads every day. For instance, a pop-up ad can suddenly appear when a person visits a website or a TV commercial may interrupt their show. This can affect people’s concentration as they are being disturbed with irrelevant contents. Additionally, ads are often considered as annoying due to their repetitiveness.
This paragraph identifies the negative impacts of advertising. The examples provided are relevant but lack depth and specificity. More detailed examples and analysis would strengthen the argument.
Body paragraph 2
However, the benefits of advertising far exceed its drawbacks. Firstly, it helps businesses grow by reaching more customers. With persuasive marketing campaigns, brands can convince the public to purchase their products, leading to a significant boost in sales. Moreover, this high demand for goods and services can result in more job opportunities, which in turn fosters the economy. Secondly, promotions provide useful information to consumers, such as the latest trends and offers, making it easier for them to find good deals. This in the long run can enable businesses to approach potential customers, facilitating the process of building brand recognition.
This paragraph presents the positive impacts of advertising. The points made are valid, but they could be expanded with more specific examples and analysis. The transition from the negative to positive aspects is clear, but the paragraph could use more varied language.
Conclusion
To sum up, while advertising can be a disruption for certain individuals, it is extremely beneficial for economic growth as well as enhancing a business's image.
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points. However, it could be strengthened by reiterating the key arguments and providing a final thought on the overall impact of advertising.
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