Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Question
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your Essay
Câu chứa lỗi
Gợi ý sửa
Giải thích
You can edit this text for your reference. Changes will not be saved.
6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay presents a balanced discussion of the topic, acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of advertising. However, the task response lacks a definitive stance, which is required for a higher score. Coherence and cohesion are adequate, but there are some areas where the structure could be improved. Lexical resource is sufficient, but there is room for more sophisticated vocabulary. Grammatical accuracy is generally acceptable, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity.
The essay addresses both sides of the argument regarding advertising, but it does not clearly state whether it is a positive or negative development, as the question asks. The conclusion is vague and does not provide a definitive answer. To improve, the essay should clearly state a position and consistently support it throughout.
The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas are abrupt, affecting the overall flow. Improving the use of linking words and phrases could enhance coherence and ensure smoother transitions between points.
Vocabulary usage is adequate, but there is a lack of variety and precision in some word choices. The essay could benefit from more sophisticated vocabulary and expressions. This would demonstrate a wider range of lexical resource and could contribute to a higher score.
There are several grammatical errors, such as incorrect use of articles and verb tense inconsistencies, that detract from the clarity of the essay. Improving grammatical accuracy and demonstrating a wider range of sentence structures would enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Advertising is becoming more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
Introduction
Advertising is everywhere. It makes itself available for viewing on hoardings, television screens, and social networking websites. Opinions vary on the advantages and disadvantages of advertising. Personally, I believe both these opinions have their own share of advantages and disadvantages.
The introduction sets the context but does not clearly state a thesis or position on whether advertising is a positive or negative development. A stronger introduction would clearly position the writer's stance.
Body paragraph 1
The case can be strongly argued for. One major benefit is advertising helps the firms to reach the larger audience, which in turn expands the market sales, therefore more and more employment opportunities generated. The businesses also take more employees to keep up with the higher demand for their goods and services. Then another is the income generated from advertisements that make most websites, from social media to YouTube, free. Without advertising, charges must be levied on the websites, hence limiting accessibility. the users would need to pay to access these sites, therefore accessibility is very limited.
This paragraph provides good examples of the benefits of advertising. However, some sentences are awkwardly constructed, and there are grammatical errors. The ideas could be linked more clearly to improve coherence.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand, the opposing view can also put forward valid arguments. To get started, online consumers have been haunted by pop-ups, video ads, and banners from the time online advertising started, which might take a blow at their online lives. Moreover, there are false advertisements that overstate the goods sold or trick the consumer into buying something that ends up being unnecessary. In turn, this learning comes with wasteful acquisitions. Last but not least, advertising encourages consumerism and puts more tension into people about material matters rather than other things.
This paragraph effectively discusses the negative aspects of advertising. Some sentences could be restructured for clarity, and the paragraph would benefit from more cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly.
Conclusion
I find it impossible to agree completely with either of those views. I believe that advertisements are good in the sense that they boost the economy and help preserve free content. Also, advertising can be bad because it tends to intrude upon one's personal life and promotes irrational consumption. Therefore, increasing ad prevalence has both positives plus negatives.
The conclusion is vague and does not provide a clear answer to the question. It summarizes the essay well but lacks a strong final statement or position. A more decisive conclusion would strengthen the essay.
Sign In
[nextend_social_login]
or sign in with email
The password must have a minimum of 8 characters of numbers and letters, contain at least 1 capital letter
Cô Huyền sẽ liên hệ trực tiếp với bạn qua email hoặc điện thoại trong 1-2 ngày tới để trao đổi cụ thể hơn về việc học.
Hoặc bạn cũng có thể chủ động liên hệ với cô giáo theo thông tin dưới đây để được xếp lớp sớm nhất.
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Xin cám ơn.
ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN
Để đăng ký học IELTS lớp cô Huyền, vui lòng điền form dưới đây để được tư vấn. Hoặc gọi điện trực tiếp cho cô giáo theo số +84.0383.096.717 để giữ chỗ.
Để đăng ký nhanh nhất, vui lòng liên hệ trực tiếp cho cô Huyền theo số:
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội
