Evaluation for Question #8870

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Question

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your Essay

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5.5
Overall Band
6
Task Response
5
Coherence
6
Lexical
5
Grammar

The essay addresses the task and presents both views, but it lacks clarity and coherence in parts. There are frequent grammatical errors and awkward expressions that impede understanding. The essay demonstrates some ability to use a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of inappropriate word choices and spelling errors. Improvement in sentence structure and coherence is needed.

The essay addresses both views and provides an opinion, but the argumentation lacks depth and clarity. The examples provided are not always clearly linked to the main points. Some points are repetitive and do not contribute significantly to the argument.

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but there is a lack of clear topic sentences and logical progression in parts. Transitions between ideas are sometimes unclear, and the use of cohesive devices is inconsistent.

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are numerous spelling errors and some awkward or incorrect word choices. There is some attempt to use less common vocabulary, but it is not always used accurately.

Frequent grammatical errors are present, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors sometimes obscure meaning and reduce the overall clarity of the essay.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Introduction

Firstly, mastering a wide range of subjects may help people to acquire more speacialized knowledge, which can contribute to support them to reach to the professional success in not only their chosen fields but also in daily life.

Body paragraph 1

Futhermore, studying a variety of subjects may help students to solve problem in different perspectives, this is because when learners face with difficult challenge in the majority of subjects, they can aquired more knowledge and experiences, also gaining some valuable lessons in real life. Moreover, with the technological advances and the developments of AI, the job market nowadays is very competitive, by mastering a wide range of subjects in university, students can get a easier access to the better opportunities getting a well-paid jobs. This can also satisfied people's demands in purchasing items without looking at the price and improve the quality of daily life. For example, a person who graduating from a law university may have a great ability to speak different languages and have a superior memoration with a special knowledge in various aspects can also sign up to be a legal translation jobs and easily earning a huge amount of money.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand, spending all your duration and attention mastering some main key subjects for a qualifications may help learners to gain more speacialized knowledge, which is also serve as a major factors in a professional success in their chosen fields. This is because many people are afraid of not graduating a top-notch university, which can lead to losing their opportuinities to have a stable jobs with a bright future. Not only that, paying all attention to learn about major subjects can save a huge amount of time, they can take that time to follow their hobbies and spend it for the daily life activities. This is because of learning less subjects is equal to less time consuming, therefore they may have many perfect chance to improve their other weakness. For example, if a person are an introvert and only have to master some main key subjects, they can take the free time to go to some clubs or festivals to hold a conversations with people who have the same hobbies. Mastering some main key subjects can also help the learners have a sustainbale future with a well-paid jobs. This is because in some fields, it require the specialized knowledge with the best skill and a long experience, studying a major subjects can contribute to get it. For example a new medical students may have to learn sevens your to become a doctor with an expert degree.

Conclusion

In conclusion, despite giving all the time to studying some main subjects can help them to have a stable jobs with a well-paid jobs, mastering a wide range of subjects can help them to solve differents issues in perspetives and to have better job future paths.

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