Evaluation for Question #8870

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Question

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your Essay

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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
5
Grammar

The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views regarding university students learning additional subjects versus focusing solely on their main subjects. The writer demonstrates a fair level of lexical resource and attempts complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. Coherence and cohesion are maintained, but there are occasional lapses in logical flow. The task response is relevant, but the personal opinion could be more clearly integrated throughout the essay.

The essay addresses both views and provides examples to support each perspective. The writer's opinion is mentioned, but it is not consistently integrated throughout the essay. The arguments could be more clearly developed and focused, with better use of examples to support the points made.

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are some issues with logical flow and paragraph development. Cohesive devices are used, but not always effectively, which occasionally affects the overall coherence.

The writer demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are several instances of inappropriate or awkward word choices. There are also spelling errors ('speacialized', 'aquired', 'memoration') that impact the lexical resource score.

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and inappropriate use of articles. Sentence structures are varied, but complex sentences are often marred by inaccuracies, reducing clarity.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Introduction

Many university learners are likely to study not only their main subjects but also other ones. Others think that spending all the time and attention pursuing for a qualifications is essential. In my perspective, I partly agree with this statement.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly, mastering a wide range of subjects may help people to acquire more speacialized knowledge, which can contribute to support them to reach to the professional success in not only their chosen fields but also in daily life. Futhermore, studying a variety of subjects may help students to solve problem in different perspectives, this is because when learners face with difficult challenge in the majority of subjects, they can aquired more knowledge and experiences, also gaining some valuable lessons in real life. Moreover, with the technological advances and the developments of AI, the job market nowadays is very competitive, by mastering a wide range of subjects in university, students can get a easier access to the better opportunities getting a well-paid jobs. This can also satisfied people's demands in purchasing items without looking at the price and improve the quality of daily life. For example, a person who graduating from a law university may have a great ability to speak different languages and have a superior memoration with a special knowledge in various aspects can also sign up to be a legal translation jobs and easily earning a huge amount of money.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand, spending all your duration and attention mastering some main key subjects for a qualifications may help learners to gain more speacialized knowledge, which is also serve as a major factors in a professional success in their chosen fields. This is because many people are afraid of not graduating a top-notch university, which can lead to losing their opportuinities to have a stable jobs with a bright future. Not only that, paying all attention to learn about major subjects can save a huge amount of time, they can take that time to follow their hobbies and spend it for the daily life activities. This is because of learning less subjects is equal to less time consuming, therefore they may have many perfect chance to improve their other weakness. For example, if a person are an introvert and only have to master some main key subjects, they can take the free time to go to some clubs or festivals to hold a conversations with people who have the same hobbies. Mastering some main key subjects can also help the learners have a sustainbale future with a well-paid jobs. This is because in some fields, it require the specialized knowledge with the best skill and a long experience, studying a major subjects can contribute to get it. For example a new medical students may have to learn sevens your to become a doctor with an expert degree.

Conclusion

In conclusion, despite giving all the time to studying some main subjects can help them to have a stable jobs with a well-paid jobs, mastering a wide range of subjects can help them to solve differents issues in perspetives and to have better job future paths.

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