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3
Overall Band
3
Task Response
3
Coherence
3
Lexical
3
Grammar
The essay attempts to interpret a line graph depicting the number of international students in Canadian universities from different regions over a period of time. However, it struggles with clarity, grammatical accuracy, and proper structure. The response lacks cohesion and coherence, making it difficult for the reader to follow the analysis of the data presented in the graph.
The task response is weak as it does not effectively address the question. The description of the data is unclear and lacks specific details. The essay fails to clearly explain trends and comparisons between different regions. There are also inaccuracies in data interpretation, and the response lacks a clear thesis or conclusion about the data trends.
The essay lacks logical structure and coherence. There is no clear progression of ideas, and the paragraphs are not well-organized. The lack of clear topic sentences and supporting details makes it difficult to follow the argument. There are also abrupt transitions between ideas, which disrupts the flow of the essay.
The range of vocabulary is limited and there are frequent errors in word choice and usage. The essay often uses incorrect or inappropriate terms, which affects clarity. Additionally, there is a lack of variety in vocabulary, with several repetitive phrases and terms.
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, sentence structure, punctuation, and capitalization. These errors significantly impede the readability and comprehension of the text. There is also a lack of complex sentence structures, which limits the grammatical range.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
the line graph illustrates the amounts of international students at canadian university in every subject includes asia africa europe and south america from 1995 to 2015
The introduction is incomplete and lacks a clear thesis statement. It provides only a basic overview of the graph without setting up the main points that will be discussed in the essay. It also contains grammatical issues, such as capitalization errors and awkward phrasing.
Body paragraph 1
overall, this is said that the numbers of international students in 2 fields without south america and asia rise significantly. from 1995 to 2005, in 1995, there are two fields start at upper is the numbers of students in south america and asia but there are also two fields start at under 50 is africa europe we can see the different of rising the numbers of international students in africa with three fields when the numbers of students in africa was reached in nearly 100, the numbers of students in three fields is just under 50. during this time while the numbers of students in europe and africa increased, the numbers of students in south america and asia decreased slightly.
This paragraph attempts to describe trends but is confusing and lacks clarity. The sentences are poorly constructed, leading to misunderstanding of the data. There is a need for clearer explanation and logical organization. The paragraph also contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
Body paragraph 2
from 2005 to 2015, this easy to see the numbers of students in africa increased significantly reach at nearly 150. the numbers of students in asia have not more change is just around upper 50. the numbers of students in south america have a significant change but the end we can see that it decreased slightly than their start. the numbers of students in europe from 200 to 2010 have a sustainable but from 2010 to 2015 the numbers of this fields increased significantly and reach at second behind africa.
This paragraph continues to describe the trends but remains unclear and disorganized. It lacks coherence and proper structure. The data interpretation is vague and not backed by specific details from the graph. There are also grammatical errors and issues with sentence structure.
Conclusion
in conclusion, the line graph shows the changing of the numbers of students from 1995 to 2015 in 4 fields includes asia africa europe south america.
The conclusion is weak and does not effectively summarize the main points or provide any insights into the data trends. It repeats information from the introduction and lacks a final evaluation or interpretation of the graph's significance. Additionally, there are grammatical issues.
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