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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay provides a basic overview of the trends in the line graph but lacks depth and clarity in its analysis. Some data interpretations are incorrect or unclear, which affects the overall task response. The organization of the essay is somewhat logical, but there are issues with coherence due to awkward phrasing and transitions. Lexical resource is adequate but not varied, and there are several grammatical errors that impact readability.
The essay attempts to address the task by describing the trends in the line graph. However, it fails to accurately interpret some of the data, such as the positions of different continents over the years. The explanation of changes over time is vague, and key details are missing. The essay also lacks a clear explanation of why these changes may have occurred.
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the connections between them are not always clear. Some sentences do not logically follow the previous ones, which disrupts the flow of ideas. Transitions between paragraphs and ideas need improvement to enhance overall coherence.
The vocabulary used is adequate but limited, with some repetition of words and phrases. There is a lack of more varied and precise language to accurately describe the data and trends. Some word choices are awkward or slightly incorrect, affecting the clarity of the essay.
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including incorrect verb tense usage, awkward sentence structures, and subject-verb agreement issues. These errors impede understanding and need to be addressed for greater grammatical accuracy.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
The given line graph compares the number of students from different continents - Asia, Africa, Europe, and South America at a Canadian University from 1995 to 2015.
The introduction states the topic of the essay but does not provide a clear thesis or overview of the main trends described in the graph.
Body paragraph 1
Overall, it can be clearly seen that the majority of international students from Asia ranked first in 1995, then this position did not remain during this period. However, there was a significant shift of African students from the least to the by far top group in 2015.
This paragraph attempts to summarize the main trends but lacks clarity and accuracy. The statement about African students is misleading and needs clearer explanation.
Body paragraph 2
From 1995 to 2005, more than 50 Asian students came to Canada to study, which was the leading group of international students from the start, followed by students from South America. While European students did not tend to study at Canadian University, which remained static during the ten-year-period, the number of candidates from Africa jumped up to nearly 100 in 2005. This group held the first place in 2005.
This paragraph provides some detail but contains inaccuracies, such as the ranking of African students. The description of trends is not entirely clear, and there is confusion about the ranking by the end of the period.
Conclusion
The essay is missing a conclusion, which is essential to summarize the main points and provide closure to the response.
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