You can edit this text for your reference. Changes will not be saved.
5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay presents a basic overview of the data depicted in the line graph, but it lacks clarity and structure. There are several grammatical inaccuracies, and the use of vocabulary is limited and sometimes incorrect. Additionally, the essay does not adequately address all components of the task, such as providing a clear comparison or analysis of the trends. The coherence of the essay is affected by the unclear organization and occasional redundancy.
The response provides a general summary of the trends shown in the graph but lacks clarity and depth. The essay fails to effectively compare and contrast the trends, and some statements are inaccurate or confusing. The task requires more detailed analysis and explanation of the trends over the period.
The essay is loosely organized and lacks clear paragraph structure. Sentences are sometimes long and convoluted, affecting readability. There is some attempt to use linking words to connect ideas, but these are often used incorrectly or awkwardly. The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and a more logical progression of ideas.
The vocabulary used is basic and occasionally incorrect, leading to unclear or inaccurate descriptions. There is some repetition of words and phrases, indicating a limited lexical range. More precise and varied vocabulary is needed to accurately describe the data trends and make comparisons.
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses and sentence structure issues, which impede understanding. There are run-on sentences and missing punctuation, which affect clarity. The essay requires more complex and accurate sentence constructions to improve grammatical range.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
The line graph illustrates the number of international students, coming from 4 different areas including Asia, Europe, Africa and South America at a Canadian University from 1995 to 2015.
The introduction provides a basic overview of the graph's content. However, it could be clearer and more concise. There is a minor grammatical error ('coming from' should be 'coming from four different areas').
Body paragraph 1
Generally, the number of African and European students attending a Canadian University followed an upward trend while the figure for those coming from Asia and South America remained unchanged and experienced a downward trend, respectively.Additionally, in 2015, Africa was the continent that had the most students studying abroad in Canada; however, the opposite site was true for South America Regarding Africa and Europe.
This paragraph attempts to summarize the trends but lacks clarity. The comparison between Africa and South America is unclear, and there is a grammatical error ('opposite site' should be 'opposite'). The structure is confusing, and punctuation errors affect readability.
Body paragraph 2
Regarding Africa and Europe, in the beginning of the period, Europe ranked third among these areas, having approximately 70 students attending a Canadian university, followed by Africa which had the lowest students studying abroad in Canada, nearly 50 individuals. From 2000 to 2010, the number of African international students kept increasing significantly and reached about 130 by the end of the period become the continent having the highest number of student attending a Canadian university and despite staying unchanged from 1995 to 2010, by 2015 the number of students coming from Europe rose substantially and ranked second among these areas, having 110 students studying abroad in Canada
The paragraph provides more specific details but lacks coherence. The sentence structure is overly complex and run-on, making it difficult to follow. There are grammatical errors and missing punctuation. The analysis of trends is not clearly presented.
Conclusion
The essay lacks a conclusion, which is a significant omission. A conclusion should summarize the main points and possibly offer a final insight or comment on the data trends.
Sign In
[nextend_social_login]
or sign in with email
The password must have a minimum of 8 characters of numbers and letters, contain at least 1 capital letter
Cô Huyền sẽ liên hệ trực tiếp với bạn qua email hoặc điện thoại trong 1-2 ngày tới để trao đổi cụ thể hơn về việc học.
Hoặc bạn cũng có thể chủ động liên hệ với cô giáo theo thông tin dưới đây để được xếp lớp sớm nhất.
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Xin cám ơn.
ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN
Để đăng ký học IELTS lớp cô Huyền, vui lòng điền form dưới đây để được tư vấn. Hoặc gọi điện trực tiếp cho cô giáo theo số +84.0383.096.717 để giữ chỗ.
Để đăng ký nhanh nhất, vui lòng liên hệ trực tiếp cho cô Huyền theo số:
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội
