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6
Overall Band
6
Task Response
6
Coherence
6
Lexical
6
Grammar
The essay addresses the task by describing trends in transportation usage over time. However, it could benefit from clearer organization, more precise data interpretation, and improved grammatical accuracy.
The essay attempts to describe the general trends and specific details of the graph. However, some aspects are unclear, such as the prediction about the tram reaching a peak in 2030 and the lack of clarity in describing the trends of bike share. More precise data interpretation and a clearer explanation of trends would enhance the task response.
The essay has a logical structure, but some parts lack cohesion. The introduction provides a general overview, but the body paragraphs could be better organized to clearly delineate the different trends. Additionally, the transition between discussing different modes of transportation could be smoother.
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety. Phrasing such as 'witnessing a gradual upward trend' and 'hit a trough' shows some range, but more varied lexical choices could improve the overall impression. There are also some awkward expressions that could be refined.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. Errors such as 'the tram also has changed noticeably' and 'remained this number' detract from clarity. There is some range of sentence structures, but more accurate and varied grammatical usage is needed.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
The given line graph illustrates the usage per month of four different modes of transportation in European megapolis from 1980 to 2030.
The introduction provides a clear description of the graph's content. However, it could include a more specific statement about what the essay will discuss regarding trends and comparisons.
Body paragraph 1
Overall, it can be clearly seen that the subway is the most used among the others and the tram also has changed noticeably during this period. Additionally, bike share appeared in 2000 and was foreseen to rise in 2030; while the bus’ usage will decrease.
The paragraph summarizes the key trends, but the expression is awkward. It would be clearer to separate the trends into distinct sentences and provide more detail about the data supporting these statements.
Body paragraph 2
Looking first at the tram and the subway, there are some similar figures. In 1980, the subway ranked first with 2.5 million, then witnessing a gradual upward trend to 3.5 million after two decades. It is the tram that is predicted to reach a peak in 2030 of about 4.5 million. Additionally, the tram hit a trough in 1980 before increasing nearly 1.5 million in 2010. It will stand in second place by the end of the timeframe.
This paragraph provides some specific data points, but the interpretation of trends is somewhat unclear. The comparison between the tram and subway is not entirely coherent, and the prediction about the tram's peak requires clearer explanation.
Conclusion
The essay does not include a conclusion. A brief conclusion summarizing the main trends and highlighting any significant predictions would improve the coherence and completeness of the response.
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Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội
