Evaluation for Question #8929

Question

Your Essay

You can edit this text for your reference. Changes will not be saved.
4.5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
4
Coherence
5
Lexical
4
Grammar

The essay provides a basic description of the data in the line chart, but it lacks depth in analysis and comparison. The language is simple, with some inaccuracies and unclear expressions. There is an attempt at organization, but the coherence can be improved by better connecting ideas and providing clearer comparisons.

The essay attempts to address the task by describing trends from the line chart. However, it lacks a clear and consistent analysis of the data, such as more detailed comparisons between the continents over the years. The task could be better addressed by expanding on key points and providing a more comprehensive overview of the trends.

The essay lacks clear cohesion, with abrupt transitions and lack of fluidity between sentences and paragraphs. While there is some structure, the logical flow is weak, and connections between ideas are not well established. Improved linking words and phrases could enhance the coherence of the essay.

The vocabulary is basic and lacks variety. The essay uses some key terms related to the topic, but there is repetition and no attempt to use more varied or sophisticated language. Enhancing the range and precision of lexical resources would improve the essay.

There are several grammatical inaccuracies and awkward expressions in the essay. Sentence structures are often simple, and there are errors in verb tense consistency and prepositions. More complex sentence structures and improved grammatical accuracy would enhance the essay's quality.

Detailed Analysis by Paragraph

Question:

Introduction

The line chart illustrates the number of international students from four different continents at a particular Canadian university from 1995 to 2015.

Body paragraph 1

Overall, Africa was the continent with the most students attending a Canada college, while the opposite was true for the case of South America in 2015.

Body paragraph 2

Moving to details, in 1995, the number of learners from Asia began at the highest and then maintained through the period before ending at the same figure in 2015. By contrast, African students were the least in 1995; however, there was a significant increase in this quantity during all years, then it stopped at around 125 in the last year.

Conclusion

Bạn đã đăng ký thành công​

Cô Huyền sẽ liên hệ trực tiếp với bạn qua email hoặc điện thoại trong 1-2 ngày tới để trao đổi cụ thể hơn về việc học. 

Hoặc bạn cũng có thể chủ động liên hệ với cô giáo theo thông tin dưới đây để được xếp lớp sớm nhất.

(+84) 0383-096-717

Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com

Xin cám ơn.

ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN​

Để đăng ký học IELTS lớp cô Huyền, vui lòng điền form dưới đây để được tư vấn. Hoặc gọi điện trực tiếp cho cô giáo theo số +84.0383.096.717 để giữ chỗ.

Để đăng ký nhanh nhất, vui lòng liên hệ trực tiếp cho cô Huyền theo số:

(+84) 0383-096-717

Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com

Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội