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4.5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
4
Coherence
5
Lexical
4
Grammar
The essay provides a basic description of the data in the line chart, but it lacks depth in analysis and comparison. The language is simple, with some inaccuracies and unclear expressions. There is an attempt at organization, but the coherence can be improved by better connecting ideas and providing clearer comparisons.
The essay attempts to address the task by describing trends from the line chart. However, it lacks a clear and consistent analysis of the data, such as more detailed comparisons between the continents over the years. The task could be better addressed by expanding on key points and providing a more comprehensive overview of the trends.
The essay lacks clear cohesion, with abrupt transitions and lack of fluidity between sentences and paragraphs. While there is some structure, the logical flow is weak, and connections between ideas are not well established. Improved linking words and phrases could enhance the coherence of the essay.
The vocabulary is basic and lacks variety. The essay uses some key terms related to the topic, but there is repetition and no attempt to use more varied or sophisticated language. Enhancing the range and precision of lexical resources would improve the essay.
There are several grammatical inaccuracies and awkward expressions in the essay. Sentence structures are often simple, and there are errors in verb tense consistency and prepositions. More complex sentence structures and improved grammatical accuracy would enhance the essay's quality.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
The line chart illustrates the number of international students from four different continents at a particular Canadian university from 1995 to 2015.
The introduction is clear but very basic. It could be improved by providing more context or a brief overview of the main trends that will be discussed.
Body paragraph 1
Overall, Africa was the continent with the most students attending a Canada college, while the opposite was true for the case of South America in 2015.
This paragraph presents an overall statement but lacks supporting details or analysis. It could be expanded to include specific numbers or trends to support the claims.
Body paragraph 2
Moving to details, in 1995, the number of learners from Asia began at the highest and then maintained through the period before ending at the same figure in 2015. By contrast, African students were the least in 1995; however, there was a significant increase in this quantity during all years, then it stopped at around 125 in the last year.
This paragraph provides some details but lacks clarity and depth. The explanation of trends is basic and could be enhanced by clearer comparisons and more precise descriptions.
Conclusion
The essay lacks a conclusion. A concluding paragraph should summarize the key points discussed and restate the overall trends observed in the data.
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