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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay provides a basic overview of the line graph but lacks depth and detail in the analysis. It contains several grammatical errors and the structure could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
The task response is limited as the essay provides only a superficial summary of the data presented in the graph. The key features are mentioned, but the comparisons and contrasts among different modes of green transport are not fully explored. The essay lacks a detailed analysis and misses some important data trends.
The coherence and cohesion of the essay are weak. The introduction does not clearly set the stage for the analysis that follows. The main body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, and the progression of ideas is not smooth. Additionally, the use of linking words and cohesive devices is limited and sometimes incorrect.
The lexical resource is basic and repetitive. The vocabulary used is limited and there is a lack of variety in word choice. Some words are used incorrectly, which affects the clarity of the essay. There is a need for more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance the description and analysis.
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. There are also run-on sentences and missing punctuation that affect the readability of the essay. The range of grammatical structures is limited.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
The line graph illustates the number of people who used green transport from 1980 to 2030, measured by millions of user.
The introduction provides a very basic description of the graph, missing an overview of the main trends. There is a spelling error in 'illustrates' and 'user' should be 'users'.
Body paragraph 1
Overall, it is clear that the subway had the highest usage during the process.Meanwhile, the bike share had the lowest commuters and it remained stable, bus users showed significant decreased over time and tram had slightly rised in period
The paragraph attempts to summarize the data but lacks clarity and detail. The phrase 'during the process' is vague. There are grammatical mistakes such as 'showed significant decreased' and 'slightly rised'.
Body paragraph 2
On the one hand, the subway and tram had upward trend. In the beginning, they started with 2.5 million and remained stable in 1990. The biggest number in 2030 with 4.5 millions. Likewise, tram reached around 1.5 million
This paragraph has some factual inaccuracies and lacks a clear topic sentence. It fails to describe the trends clearly and misses some important details. There are also grammatical errors with plural forms and incomplete sentences.
Conclusion
To conclude, the line graph shows all information about transportation usage in 50 years
The conclusion is very brief and does not summarize the main points effectively. It should restate the key trends and insights from the graph.
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Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội
