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5.5
Overall Band
6
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay provides a general overview and some details about the trends in the line graph. However, it lacks depth in analysis, and there are several grammatical and lexical issues that hinder clarity. The task response is adequate but could be improved with more detailed comparisons and a clearer presentation of data.
The essay addresses the task by summarizing the main trends shown in the graph. However, it lacks depth in analysis, particularly in comparing the different means of transport. Providing more specific data points and making clearer comparisons between the modes of transport could improve the task response.
The essay is organized logically overall, but there are issues with sentence structure and cohesion, which affect the flow of information. Some sentences are unclear or awkwardly structured, and more linking words could be used to improve the flow between ideas.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with some repetition and incorrect word forms. Phrases like 'foreseen to have a moderate decrease' are awkward, and there are several instances of incorrect word choice or collocation.
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses and subject-verb agreement issues. Sentences are sometimes awkwardly phrased or unclear, which affects the overall clarity of the essay.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
The given line graph demonstrates the number of commuters using four different means of transport per month in a European metropolis from 1980 to 2030.
The introduction is clear and sets the context for the essay. However, it could be improved by mentioning the specific modes of transport that will be discussed.
Body paragraph 1
Overall, the figures of residents travelling by subway and tram have displayed a similar upward trend during the span of time, while that of bike share just started a slight growth in 2000, and bus travel has been foreseen to have a moderate decrease in number of travellers until 2030.
This paragraph provides a general overview of the trends. It could be enhanced by more clearly distinguishing between the different trends and providing more specific data to support the general observations.
Body paragraph 2
In 1980, there were 2.5 million citizens using the subway for transportation, then the number gradually increased before being expected to reach the peak at 4,5 millions in 2030. Trams followed a similar pattern but with lower figures, starting from under 0.5 millions and will peak its highest number in 2030 (2 millions), becoming the second most popular transportation form.
This paragraph provides some specific data, which is useful. However, it contains grammatical errors and some awkward phrasing. More precise comparisons between the transport types could improve clarity.
Conclusion
Turning to buses, the only type of transportation illustrated a downward trend during 50 years, beginning with above 1.5 millions of habitants, then slowly declined and will end with under 1 million by the last year of the period. It is also noticeable that bike share was the least common transportation, with no travellers until 2000, starting with around only 0.25 million people and had a very slight rise to about 0.5 million in 2030.
This paragraph attempts to cover two different transport modes, but the ideas are not clearly separated. The paragraph would benefit from being split into two, with one focusing on buses and the other on bike share, to improve clarity and coherence.
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