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5
Overall Band
5
Task Response
5
Coherence
5
Lexical
5
Grammar
The essay presents data about the number of foreign students from different regions attending a Canadian university over a 20-year period. While it conveys some key trends, it lacks depth in analysis and detail. There are significant grammatical errors, and the coherence could be improved with better paragraph structure and transitions.
The essay attempts to address the task by describing trends in the data, but it lacks detail and depth in its analysis. The description of trends is sometimes unclear or vague. There is also a lack of specific data points or comparisons that would enhance the response.
The essay lacks clear logical progression and paragraphing. While it identifies some trends, the transitions between ideas and paragraphs are not smooth, which affects the overall coherence. The use of linking words is limited and sometimes incorrect.
The vocabulary used is fairly basic, and there are several instances of repetition and incorrect word choice. This limits the effectiveness of the essay. There is an attempt to use some academic language, but it is inconsistent.
There are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors can make the essay difficult to follow and detract from the overall clarity.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
the line graph illustrates the number of foreigner student at a Canadian university from 1995 to 2015.
The introduction is too brief and lacks a clear overview of the main trends. It also contains a grammatical error ('foreigner student' should be 'foreign students').
Body paragraph 1
Overall, the number of African students and EU students have an upward trend. The figure of South American students has a little bit decrease while Asia keep stable.
This paragraph provides an overall summary but lacks specific details and data points. The language is vague, and there are grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ('have' should be 'has' and 'keep' should be 'keeps').
Body paragraph 2
Regarding to the Africa, the number of students in this country was the lowest in 1995, which was about 47 students. Although that, after 10 years, in the year 2005, the figure for Africa was the highest of all with approximately 80 students. In the same period EU students illustrated the increase in the number of student which increased from 48 student to 50 student. From 2005 to 2015, both Africa and Eu increased dramatically about the number of student. the figure of Africa was about 125 students, compared to 110 of EU in 2015.
The paragraph attempts to describe trends with some data points, but there are numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The structure could be improved with clearer topic sentences and transitions.
Conclusion
The essay lacks a conclusion, which affects its completeness and coherence. A concluding paragraph should summarize the main points and trends discussed in the essay.
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Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội
