You can edit this text for your reference. Changes will not be saved.
7
Overall Band
7
Task Response
8
Coherence
7
Lexical
8
Grammar
The essay provides a clear and coherent analysis of the chart showing the number of international students attending a university in Canada. The essay successfully identifies trends and provides specific data to support these observations. However, there are minor issues with task response and lexical resource, which prevent it from achieving a higher score.
The essay effectively addresses the task by describing the main trends and providing relevant data from the chart. However, it lacks a clear introduction to the task and does not explicitly describe the chart. The essay could be improved by providing a more comprehensive overview of the data presented in the chart.
The essay is well-organized and logically structured. Each paragraph focuses on specific data points, and there is a clear progression of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and the relationships between ideas are clear.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with precise use of terms related to data description. However, there is some repetition of phrases, and the essay could benefit from a wider variety of lexical choices to enhance richness and avoid redundancy.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with a high level of accuracy. There are no significant grammatical errors, and complex sentences are used effectively to convey information.
Detailed Analysis by Paragraph
Question:
Introduction
The chart shows the number of international students attending a university in Canada between 1995 and 2015. Overall, we can see that the number of African and European students increased by the end of the time period. Meanwhile, the amount of international students from Asia and South America stayed roughly the same throughout the same time span.
The introduction provides a general overview of the trends but lacks a clear statement of the task. It could be improved by explicitly mentioning that the data is from a chart and summarizing the task more clearly.
Body paragraph 1
In 1995, the number of international students from Asia was the highest among the four regions, with around 70 students. This figure remained relatively stable over the two decades, finishing just slightly lower by 2015. South America followed a similar trend, starting with approximately 60 students and experiencing a gradual rise until 2010, reaching nearly 80. However, the number of international students from this region declined to around 60 by the end of the period.
This paragraph effectively describes the trends for Asian and South American students, using specific data to support the analysis. It maintains coherence and clarity throughout.
Body paragraph 2
Turning to the number of foreign students originating from Europe and Africa, these figures demonstrated a consistent upward trend. Although starting as the area with the least number of students, the figure for Europe rose steadily from just under 50 in 1995 to reach the highest point of around 140 in 2015. Similarly, African students increased gradually, remaining stable at around 40 students until 2010 before showing a sharp climb, peaking at approximately 110 by 2015.
This paragraph clearly identifies the upward trends for European and African students, providing detailed data to illustrate these trends. The use of comparative language enhances the clarity of the analysis.
Conclusion
The essay lacks a formal conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed. Including a conclusion would provide a more complete and cohesive response.
Sign In
[nextend_social_login]
or sign in with email
The password must have a minimum of 8 characters of numbers and letters, contain at least 1 capital letter
Cô Huyền sẽ liên hệ trực tiếp với bạn qua email hoặc điện thoại trong 1-2 ngày tới để trao đổi cụ thể hơn về việc học.
Hoặc bạn cũng có thể chủ động liên hệ với cô giáo theo thông tin dưới đây để được xếp lớp sớm nhất.
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Xin cám ơn.
ĐĂNG KÝ HỌC IELTS VỚI CÔ HUYỀN
Để đăng ký học IELTS lớp cô Huyền, vui lòng điền form dưới đây để được tư vấn. Hoặc gọi điện trực tiếp cho cô giáo theo số +84.0383.096.717 để giữ chỗ.
Để đăng ký nhanh nhất, vui lòng liên hệ trực tiếp cho cô Huyền theo số:
(+84) 0383-096-717
Email: huyenbui@cohuyenielts.com
Địa chỉ: 63 Vũ Ngọc Phan, Láng Hạ, Đống Đa, Hà Nội
